The first speaker of Saturday’s morning session was Pat Love. She spoke about the Power of Passion – not just passion in the intimate sense, but passion in all of life. Passion means Life Energy and she pointed out that by investing in our relationships (as husband and wife and other ones in our lives), we are investing in all areas of our lives.
She spoke about the three pathways to passion:
A. Acceptance – Am I willing to go the extra mile?
B. Attention – How effective am I at giving A the attention he longs for?
C. All-in commitment in our relationship – What does our relationship need to move it forward? Questions to ask yourself and then discuss: How can I improve my acceptance of your desire for… And I think you would feel…
One thing she pointed out that I thought was an excellent point (and I can see it in my own life) is that our brain is wired toward the negative. Do you ever find yourself turning a situation or a comment around and all these negative feelings start to creep in? Yep, it can happen in your relationship too.
Finally, there are five criterion for Passion that you and your spouse/partner/significant other can brainstorm dates around. We were encouraged to think back to our dating days and recall those date that caused a. anticipation, b. were challenging, c. absorbing, d. energizing and e. congruent.
The first actual workshop A and I went to was entitled Keeping the Fun Alive by Josh & Michelle Sosa. This is where A and I learned the most about each other – well, things we already knew were re-enforced. This is neat because later in the weekend I got upset about something and just as I figured out how to put my feelings into words, A said exactly what I was going to say – he understood!
In the workshop, we learned about four different personality types. We each got a handbook called All About M.E. (Marriage Education). The curriculum is aimed towards teens but there are a bunch of worksheets that pertain to all ages and it encourages healthy relationships. The first thing we did was go through & circle a bunch of phrases that we think describes our personalities. Then we charted our numbers.
There are four personality types: Lion, Otters, Golden Retrievers & Beavers.
Some, not all, of the characteristics of each:
Lion (Hard-sided Lovers): Like to accomplish things with immediate results, love to solve problems, are doers, often feel threatened by questions, are decisive but may not consult others, want directions followed without questions and are born leaders. This is A’s strongest.
Otters (Soft-sided Lovers): Are great at motivating others to action, tend to avoid confrontation at all costs, focus on the future, are tremendous networks yet don’t know anyone’s last name, are susceptible to peer pressure, love to talk and have 25 best friends.
Golden Retrievers (Soft-sided Lovers): Are loyal, have a strong need for close relationships, often react strongly to sudden change, hold stubbornly to what they feel is right, may only have a few close friends but they will be deep friendships, can be indecisive, need to be prepared for change, and the biggest one – words that may be an emotional pebble to a lion can be a 10 lb weight to a retriever. This is mine.
Beavers (Hard-sided Lovers): Read the instruction manuals and alphabetically file them, often turn anger inward, likes charts, maps and organization, have deep feelings for those they love, hold high standards/like rules and consistency and need praise of their character as well as their accomplishments. Often go “By the book”.
For the last part of the workshop, we were asked to make a short list of things we each enjoy doing/want to do someday. Here is a glimpse of both our lists:
(Sorry, this is my first time trying to cut and past from Word into here, so it is a little messed up).
Stay tuned for a more in-depth review of the lunch hour workshop as well as the second workshop we attended!